Embracing Stillness and Fresh Starts

Emory on Lake Michigan — **"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.”**

- T.S. Eliot

A decade ago, we found ourselves back in the United States after almost five years abroad. Two-and-a-half-year-old Ben, along with the anticipation of Emory, who was rolling around in my big pregnant belly. We had no jobs, not much stuff, and the prospect was downright scary.

Yet, in the midst of uncertainty, we discovered a sense of home and community we hadn't anticipated. Our journey was one of balancing the allure of fresh starts against the serenity of stillness.

In the beginning, everything felt rootless and unsettling.

We lived in a stranger's house, complete with their own family photos on the wall, and drove a stranger's car plastered with their children's stickers. Choices at the grocery store were overwhelming. It was a life marked by the unfamiliar and the unknown in our home state – a place once so familiar. But we had family and friends nearby. And then Emory arrived. We found jobs and settled into the rhythm of life back in Michigan. Strangely, the itch to embark on another adventure had faded. Or perhaps we chose to stay put despite it.

This decision to put down roots and invest in a community, regardless of the challenges that may arise, seems to strike at something deeper than the thrill of new experiences. It marked the moment we truly felt a sense of home and community, and for that, we are incredibly grateful.

It's funny how much you can love a place just before you leave it.

The joy of everyday activities becomes so acute when you know they will soon end. The feeling of a trail and the sparkle of the Huron River on an early morning solo run. The warm greeting from the Vietnam Vet at the bagel shop. The comfort of long-time familiar faces at school drop off.

Benefits of Staying Still

I read an article once that described home as a waiting room, a place we endure until we can escape. But when we leave, we often find ourselves yearning for it.

In Phil Knight’s memoir he describes this push and pull when he traveled the world before founding Nike: “I was crazed with loneliness, cut off from everything and everyone I knew. The occasional sight of The New York Times or a Time magazine gave me a lump in my throat….I wanted to be home again. Now. And yet I was aflame with curiosity about the world. I still wanted to see, to explore.”

The benefits of staying still extend far beyond nostalgia. It's about the familiar favorite spots, the serendipitous encounters, and the people you can rely on for advice or a helping hand. Over time trust and understanding flourish, leading to better health and wellness, as evidenced by the concept of Blue Zones, where people live long and fulfilling lives in part because of tight knit communities. Even if you're an introvert (like me), there's a part of you that craves connection, family ties, and the support system you've established.

“We know that a fresh start is a surefire way to promote personal growth. The uncertainty, the fear, that sensation of being a novice again—it’s a stark reminder that we can conquer challenging situations, whether we’re ready or not. ”

The Allure of Fresh Starts

Our enduring goal has always been to embrace one more adventure abroad, one that our kids would remember and learn from. Though as we navigate the challenges of this stage in life, choosing adventure and uncertainty over the comfort of the familiar becomes increasingly daunting.

This is the conundrum we all face, the tension between the known and the unknown, between staying still and starting anew.

We know that a fresh start is a surefire way to promote personal growth. The uncertainty, the fear, that sensation of being a novice again—it's a stark reminder that we can conquer challenging situations, whether we're ready or not.

With fresh starts come identity resets, the opportunity to redefine who we are and develop new habits. It also allows us to rediscover and deepen our understanding of the place we call home. T.S. Eliot once wrote, "We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” We tap into a profound sense of love and appreciation for our roots by leaving behind the people and places we cherish the most.

I think the big picture is this: Being exposed to different places, people, and cultures while understanding the common thread of the human experience makes us feel like a part of something bigger than ourselves. It fosters empathy, reminding us of our privileged position in the world, urging us to use it wisely and seek to understand others. My hope is that we will lean into this part of the challenge, one that all of us, but especially Ben and Emory, will learn from.

The choice between stillness and fresh starts is a deeply personal one, and there is no universal answer. We must weigh the allure of familiarity against the temptation of new horizons, finding the right balance for our unique journey. We’ve made our choice for this go around – here’s to letting it take us where it will.